A Battle Between Me & Myself

“What’s with that starfish?”— I asked one of the alumni. “It’s our commitment to the community, a simple way of making difference” he said.

It started by thinking how ‘simple things’ can really make a difference. I used to do things as great as possible. I wanted to be unique on my own. And I came up to a conclusion that I can also be part of this starfish throwing activity with them—but in my own way again.

Three years ago, I was eyeing Ayala Young Leaders Congress because of its prestige. It was an impossible thing then but I know by exposing myself in the community, it can progress me—and that’s the easy thing I said, to get involved in community service and holding key positions in an organization.

                                                     

Then I started it gradually. Through time, I experienced several changes in my life and principle. The passion was intensified, the sacrifices were crucial, the realizations got into my mind unorganized—unbalanced lifestyle.

I had several key positions in different organizations; I had experienced trainings and seminars; I thought I was an excellent leader then that I can handle an organization alone with my knowledge, but I was wrong. I thought of leadership as a battle between leaders showing how excellent they are in every projects and prestigious leadership search they got.

Step by step, I understand what leadership really means. While we are growing, our ideas also broaden. So we are going beyond what basics and fundamentals are. There were many principles sprouted as I track this passion, but systematically having a framework of this, could lead us clearly what is it. I got so many ideas but the very essence of leadership aside from influencing positively is the value of its calling and the innate passion that warms me every time I do something even if it’s simple.

I was still developing myself to become an effective leader until I reached the point of applying to AYLC. I didn’t notice how time passed by that I was into AYLC then. I passed it until the final screening having what I’ve learned from my community and leadership life. Who could imagine that this nobody man understanding leadership as a title as his starting idea can pass through the screenings of his leadership tests and hereby gone through AYLC?

“Maybe they saw something in me, something that can change the paradigm to win hearts and minds, something as prestigious as any leadership award and title that makes us up to temporal aims, and something that I should find and share to the world.”

Just even before the congress, one of the unique programs was the adopt-a-delegate where we met alumni. We’ve got to know what kind of alumni AYLA have. How they achieved where they are now and how they live their lives after the congress and it’s such a privilege to be imparting us their precautions and pre-congress realizations.

During the congress, I just observed my fellow youth leaders. I was indeed intimidated of their excellence that I even forgot where I should be focussing. I was distracted at first. I was out of the line again. But I did get back to where I should be and just showed what I’ve got and who I am.

Indeed, there were several thoughts and realizations as everyone expected. Plus, the freebies and the unlimited ice cream drama. The wantusawa best feeding program in the world and the puyatan drama of the league of Quack! Quack! Convenors (you know what I mean with the quack quack).

I am called to change the paradigms. I am called to win hearts and minds. I am called to share what I’ve got and get aided. I can’t believe that I am now an alumnus of AYLC, we thought it concluded after departing the training centre, but it was just indeed a commencement.

A four-day of challenging and exuberant activities—listening, sharing, and involving myself were actually life changing but what’s important are the challenges that are waiting ahead of us, the challenges that we’ll be going to face and fight with. “This, indeed, is the true battle in leadership, a battle between me and myself— defeating the barriers of responding to the call to make a significant difference and have the courage plus initiative to change the paradigm”

I am Kevin Vidar— aware with the vision as steward to serve my community. I fight with the barriers of answering the call and I live to love and to lead  individuals.

After AYLC?I can now see starfishes ahead of me— I will throw them back to the sea step by step.

Yes, I am not Superman, but just an Ayala Young Leader that will serve you all the way!

A Lifetime Habit... (Mang Santos)

Kaliitang matanda, nakapasumbrero ngunit panot, iisa ang ngipin sa itaas, kaitiman at hukot na tila ba nakadikit na ang baba sa leeg.

Kamakailan ay nakita ko lamang siya sa isang lansangan na parte ng aming lungsod, dangan kasi'y may kumakalat na balita na yumao na raw ito dahil sa tindi ng init dito sa aming lugar. Papadyak-padyak sa singtanda na niyang tatlong gulong na bisekleta at nagbabahay bahay upang bumili ng mga bote at bakal dala pa ang bag na lalagyan ng pera na nakasabit sa kanyang tagiliran. Ganunpaman, minsan nga iniisip ko pa, "Di'bat bata pa lamang ako ay ganito na ang sistema ng kaniyang pamumuhay?"

Magtataka dahil sa araw-araw na lamang na ginawa ng Diyos ay ganito na ang paulit-ulit na ginagawa niya. Naaalala ko pa nga na noong bata pa kami ay may kasama pa sa traybayk niyang itinitindang "ice drops" na tig apat na piso at kami naman ay nag-iipon ng mga bote at bakal na maaari nang ipagbili at kung mamalasin ay 75 sentimo lamang ang halaga na hindi pa sasapat pambili ng sorbetes na aking tinutukoy. Mukayain mo, sa sampung bote ng "bilog" na mahahanap ko ay tatlong piso lang ang halaga noong mga panahon na iyon na ibibigay niya sa amin. Manghihingi ako ng kulang sa aking lola at kapag hindi ako binigyan, tiyak na "epic fail". Ngunit sa kabutihang palad ng mamang nakasakay sa bisikleta ay di niya ipagdadamot ang sorbetes na sa amiy nagpapasaya.

"Maraming salamat Mang Santos."

"Owu, walang anuman yon."

Basta ang naiisip ko kapag nakikita ko siya, kung siguro ang lahat ng tao kagaya niya, baka malamang hindi ganito kahirap ang bansang Pilipinas. Sa kabila ng kawalang-hiyaan ng ilang mga pulitiko ay patuloy pa rin ang pagkayod ng isang Juan dela Cruz sa kahit ano pa mang hanap-buhay na marangal. Kahit na bilad sa katirikan ng araw at panay pa ang pagpadyak sa traybayk na puno ng mga bote at bakal...ang mahalaga ay nakakakain sa tatlong araw ang kanyang pamilya.

Kung isa ako ako sa pamunuan ng CNN, malamang ay napili na rin siyang CNN Hero of the Year kasi nama'y simula yata ng ipinanganak ako hanggang ngayon ay puro sa pagpadyak ng traybayk at pamimili ng bote bakal ang ikinabubuhay niya umulan man o umaraw... Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako nang makita ko siya minsan na nakakapoteng luma at inaayos ang kadena ng kanyang bisekleta sa lakas ng ulan. CNN hero para sa akin dahil ayon sa aking lolo na kaibigan ni Mang Santos, nakapagpatapos na siya sa kolehiyo ng kanyang mga anak.

Nakahahanga ang mga ganitong kuwento. Isang magulang na nakapagpatapos ng kanyang anak sa pamamagitan lamang ng pagbobote-bakal. MARANGAL. Samantala, may ilan na SOBRANG YAMAN na nga, WALA pang DANGAL.

Naalarma ako nang mabalitaan kong siya'y pumanaw na isang katanghalian (nang maitala ang pinakamainit na temperatura sa bansa dito sa Kabanatuan). Hindi pa pala. Nang makita ko kasi siya'y akala ko ay minumulto na lamang ako ng magiting kong kabaro.

"Uyy Mang Santos, akala nami'y may nangyari sa'yo..."

"Ahe, oo nga... ey hindi pa pala e nakalista pangalan ko kay San Pedro..."

"Mabuti naman po... Bakit hindi pa ho kayo tumigil sa pagbili ng bote bakal?"

"Naku eh, dito kami nabuhay, dito ako nabubuhay, at dito na rin yata ako mamamatay talaga..haha."

Iyang mga huling salita na yan ang sa aki'y nagpakilabot. Bagamat buwis buhay, handa siyang magtrabaho at maghanapbuhay para sa sarili niya sapagkat nasa ibang bansa na lahat ng kanyang napagtapos na anak at mag-isa na lamang siya dito bansa.

Mga ilang bagay na nagpatanto sa akin na di dapat alintana ang porma ng hanapbuhay ng isang tao basta marangal at kung minsan ang palagian na nating gawain sa tuwina ay nagiging bahagi na ng ating buhay lalo pa't ito ang nagbibigay sa atin ng kasiyahan...

"I must say, once you have tried something that changed your life... This sometimes, become a lifetime habit..."

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Lungsod ng Kabanatuan

Sa tuwing sasapit ang bukang liwayway dito sa nayon namin ay hitik sa lamig ang buong paligid sanhi ng halumigmig ng hangin at bukiring nababalutan ng maputing hamog kasabay ang pagsulpot ng haring araw. Sa tuwina ay maiisip kong isa ito sa mga hahanap-hanapin ko dito sa aming nayon.

Madalas akong matanong sa lugar na aking pinagmulan at sa kapagdakang sagot ay tila ba nangangapa sila kung saang parte ng Pilipinas ang aking sinasabi— dangan kasi’y hindi sikat kamukha ng ilang bayan na lagi nang naisapapatalastas bilang panghikayat sa turismo ng bansa.

Kung minsan ay nalulungkot na lamang ako sa ganitong uri ng kaalaman mayroon ang mga taga-ibang lugar sa aking mahal na bayan. Mayroon pa nga na sinasabing “Ah, iyon bang Kabanatuan? Di’ba sobrang init roon at sadyang kayrumi?”

Naisip ko tuloy na sisihin ang kapalaran at heograpiya kung bakit sa lugar na ito inilagay ang bayang ito. Subalit malamang ay may plano ang Panginoon para sa bayang ito na subok na ng panahon.

Marami pang basehan ang katanyagan ng isang bayan, ilan din rito ay ang mga taong pabuloso at sikat and personalidad. Sa usaping ito ay maaaring di gaanong karamihan ang aming bayan. “Naku, talaga naming wala gaanong maipagmamalaki sa aming lugar…” iyan malamang ang sinasabi ng iba.

“Walang lugar pasyalan, walang personalidad na nakatira, at di kilala.”

Sa kabila ng lahat ay babalik ako sa kapalarang bigay ng Diyos sa bayang ito. Marapat lang na pasalamatan na isa ito sa pangunahing tagapag-angkat ng palay, isa sa sentro ng mga kalakalan sa  Gitnang Luzon, Makasaysayan at ang katotohanang dito ako pinanganak, nabuhay, at nagkamalay. ANG KABANATUAN AY PARA SA KABANTUENYO… Walang ibang magmamahal dito kung hindi ako at lahat ng Kabanatuwenyo.

At sa bandang huli ay maaalala ko ang bukang liwayway kasabay ang halumigmig ng klima sa umaga kasama ang mga mahal ko sa buhay sa lugar kung saan ako isinilang at nagkamalay…Kabanatuan.

"Simple things are even BETTER..."

I am still amazed that night before I write this article in my desktop computer. I was thinking of what introduction could be nicer to write before somebody texted me a quote “Forget the risk and take the fall, if it’s what you want, then it’s worth it all”---a very simple quotation coming from an unknown sender. As I read it, there was someone whom I remembered, captivated and shook my peaceful mind. A very notable and profound person I have just known last holy week. A very caring and always ready to lend a hand, a man full of unending thoughts and principles in different perspective of servant leadership---His Holiness Luigi di Liegro of Rome---A priest for the needy people.

I have always been defining leadership as an invitation to greatness that we extend to others. As a student/youth leader, I have constructed my own views and insights about the latter realm; I found out that it’s a thing very difficult to understand. It has different dimensions. I have read in an inspirational book that it has also two kinds, the one that we ought to do because the environment oblige us to do it so and the other one is the one that we extend to others unconsciously because of the different reasons affecting to do such (love, passion, and the willingness to share oneself without any responsibility to do it). The first one is what I called the ‘extensive leadership’ such as a politician governing a huge community in which the betterment/greatness is conforming in general views. The other one is the ‘intensive leadership’ such as father’s concern to his children and any simple yet positive influencing that we extend to others---and this kind of leadership has been depicted by this man known as ‘charity man’ and a best synonym for the term ‘servant leadership’.

As I watched this man’s life story, I realized the real value of servant leadership. I depicted two major elements of it from him and that is “faith” and “dedication to share oneself” (if you will see the definition of the word dedication, you will be amazed by its synonymous words). Dedication that led him to attain what he wanted for the needy people of Rome.

“Have you ever wondered what this word can do to make a difference?”

Fr. Di Liegro wanted to recover the distorted people of Rome from the absolute moral and social destruction back in his time. He saw the fair situation of the city that challenged him to make a change by helping those people to save their spiritual, moral, and social beings. Because of the condition, he had not convinced any of the people to repent their lives. He failed to influence any of them for their good. He tried every single ways to convinced them at first but he failed.

I remember myself having such similar situation in life in leading the youth who are in the wrong lanes. I have been coward to continue the encouragement I started because of the thought that all the efforts will just be wasted in the end. I was embarrassed as I compare myself to him. Fr.di Liegro didn’t even react on it; instead, he tried every single possible ways to get rid them from the possible destruction. There were times that some, particularly the government thought of him as an idealistic priest who would have just try to change the status but later will stop---surrendering. Fr.di Liegro didn’t even bother by these factors hindrance in his mission---and going back to the quotation, “Forget the risk and take the fall, if it’s what you want, then it’s worth it all”, that’s what he did. He did not stop at all, instead, he continue sharing himself to others without any in return. Fr.di Liegro was able to established homes for the lost ones, for those who have abandoned by their families, for those who have nothing to eat along the streets, and for those who have incurable diseases particularly AIDS. The government nor the church didn’t even know the positive impact Fr. Luigi has started. They pessimistically judged the initiative of an individual to make a change, to make a difference. When Fr. Luigi died, so much people mourned about his passing, they apprehended all the good things Fr. Luigi had done to them; it had greatly influenced their lives.

The point of which is that leadership can be in different ways not because he’s a priest but because he wanted to have a change…a positive change. The real fulfillment of a leader should be based on how greatly we influenced and share ourselves to others’ lives, how we make a difference even in the simplest things, and how are we dedicated to this as Fr. Luigi had shown.

I believe that even today, Fr.di Liegro’s character could be hiding in anybody living in this world that would possess a dedication toward any form of positive leadership that will surely uphold change for the betterment of all. We should not stop dreaming to attain what we want to happen. Sometimes, being idealistic---sticking in our principles can lead us to achieve the things we wanted to happen……of course, visions start in just mere and pure ideals…May the GOD BLESS YOU.

ANG “MABUHAY” NG DAHIL SA’YO…

Bata pa lamang ako ay tigib na ang pagnanais ko na kilanlin ang mga taong nakapostura sa mga dingding ng paaralan at yaong mga taong tila ba nangungusap kung iyong tititigan sa mga papel nap era. Basta ang alam ko lang, bayani sila. Yaon bang tipong perpekto at tahasang nagpakamartir para lamang labanan ang mga mapang-aping kalaban. Ang alam ko lang noon ay sila ang bida, at ang mga banyaga naman ang kontrabida. Kapag ba nakikita ko ang mga larawan nila ay para rin bang sumasagi sa aking isip na kaya ko ring itaya ang aking buhay para sa bansang ito na maaaring karaniwan lamang sa isang musmos na isipan.

Sabin g titser ko, “Ang totoo at tunay na bayani ay handang mamatay para sa kanyang bayan.” Kaytagal kong tinalima at isinaisip ang mga pananaw na iyan subalit may ilan pa rin talagang bumabagabag sa aking isip kapag sinasabi kong handa akong mamatay para sa aking bayan. Maaaring ito’y karuwagang isakripisyo ang buhay subalit may mas malalim na pinaghuhugutan ang karuwagang ito.

Si Rizal, GOMBURZA at Bonifacio ay namatay at nagsakripisyo sa kanilang panahon upang makamit lang ang kalayaang ating dati’y minimithi. Namatay si Ninoy sa kanyang mga paninindigan laban sa rehimeng pinaniwalaan niyang banta muli sa kalayaan natin sa kanyang kapanahunan. Sino pa kaya ang handang mamatay para sa bayan sa kanyang kapanahunan?

Hindi lingid sa ating kaalaman na sadyang kay lala na ng sitemang ating ginagalawan. Sistemang hindi lamang pulitikal bagkus sa lahat na yata ng aspetong dati’y maayos naman. Ikaw kaya? Handa ka kayang mamatay para sa ating kapanahunan? Marahil ang iba sa inyo ay tatango sa aking katanungan, at karamihay baka ipagpasakibit-balikat na lamang ang mga ganitong usapin at kapagdaka’y umismid.

Tunay nga na napakamakabuluhan at may saysay ang naging pagkabayani ng mga sinaunang Pilipino sa kanilang kapanahunan pero sa tuwing iisipin ko ang punla sa aking mga kamay at sa bawat kabataan ng ating panahon, nasasalamin ko ang ibang pagpapakahulugan sa salitang BAYANI. Unti-unti ko na yatang naiiba ang tema ng dati kong sinasabi na handa akong mamatay para sa bayan.

Nito lamang nang muli kong masaksihan ang isa pang katanungan na kagaya ng tinanong ko sa inyo na mula naman sa aking kamag-aral. “Handa ka ba na i-alay ang iyong buhay sa bayan?”. Hindi ko alam ang hanging nagbuka sa aking bibig ng mga katagang ito:

“HINDI, MABUBUHAY AKO PARA SA BAYAN…”

Tapos na ang panahong maraming namatay, panahon na para mabuhay para sa bayan at isabuhay ang ipinaglaban ng mga namatay. Iyan ang aking nagging pananaw ng makita ko ang totoong buhay mayroon ang Pilipinas sa panahong ito. Kung tayong mga kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan, hindi tayo dapat mamatay bagkus, tayo’y dapat mabuhay upang baguhin at i-ahon sa kalugmukan ang bansang minsan nang dinanakan ng dugo para sa layuning makabayan.

Ang mabuhay ng marangal, kapaki-pakinabang, at may disiplinang mamamayan na magiging inspirasyon sa lahat ng Pilipino sa pamamagitan ng simpleng pagtalima sa mga batas at alituntunin, pagmamahal sa kapaligiran, at pagdamay sa mga taong salat.

Isang krusada para sa mga kabataang maka-Diyos at makabayan.